New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
