Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
