i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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