how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
