Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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