Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
