Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
