i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
