Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
