I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
