I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
