who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
mondays should just be called national damage control day
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
