The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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