I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
