my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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