I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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