I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
