nut hugger
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How many fucks given?
0.12846
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
