I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
smell my finger.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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