I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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