I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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