im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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