how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
