How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
