this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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