no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
