you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize