thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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