Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
