Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
