I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
