It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize