Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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