and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
