I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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