just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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