that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
