everyone is single if you try hard enough
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
