i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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