She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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