I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Randomize
