You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
