Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
