you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You took a bar mat shot.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
