True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
