dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
