she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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