He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
