i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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