bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
