I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
