im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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