Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i think i just lost a toe
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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