At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
