I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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