I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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