I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
