Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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