Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
