There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
