I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
