I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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