I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
