I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize