I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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