he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
