Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
