Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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