my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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