Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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